Ah. It was a beautiful day outside. The sky was clear and blue, the air was cool, and the sun was bright. Nothing could go wrong, right? WRONG. Obviously.
We were driving back home from school on this beautiful day. Driving down 39th avenue, we noticed that someone was approaching us very quickly. Doing 55 in a 45, my dad was surprised about this. He didn't expect someone to be speeding faster than him, being from New York and all. As soon as he could, the driver passed us. He had his windows down, music blaring, all from his small car - I can't recall what type it was. He continued driving at incredibly fast speeds, and then it happened.
The driver started loosing control of his car. Anyone could tell he was losing control by the way the car was swerving back and forth - at least that's what I think happens when a driver loses control of a vehicle.
As he went down the hill, he started loosing control. Another car was approaching from on top of the hill, driving like any other person on this fine wonderful day. The crazy man's car (we'll call him Bob for easy reference) went into the left hand lane and clipped the innocent driver's car. And then it happened.
Bob's car skidded across the blacktop road and then immediately flipped at least three times into the ditch to the right of the road. The other car merely did a 180 degree spin on a horizontal axis, barely any damage being done. Bob's car stopped flipping and landed right side up in the ditch, a few windows broken and a bumper in the grass. The car was wrecked to no end - I had never seen such a thing in my life. The other car pulled off the other side of the road and a man got out, with only a slight limp. The truck in front of us pulled off to the right side of the road. A couple exited that truck and called 911. The limping man went as fast as he could over to Bob's wrecked car, only to immediately turn around and call 911, like the couple.
We pulled over next to the limping man's car (we'll call him Dave.) My dad told me to stay in the car and to not look at anything. He left the vehicle and crossed the road to the limping man, and I, being a normal teenager, looked at the damage and to see if Bob was alright. He wasn't.
As I looked under the bright sun, I saw Bob's car in the ditch on the opposite side of the road. A few windows were cracked and one was gone. The front bumper had been torn off completely. And there was blood all over the windshield. At first I couldn't believe what I saw - I only saw this stuff in hardcore action movies. There was something poking through the windshield of Bob's car... I couldn't quite tell what it was. A foot, perhaps? I looked a bit more, and than it dawned upon me: it was Bob's head.
Bob must've not been wearing a seatbelt as he cruised at 80 miles per hour, for his head was through the windshield. The glass gashed at his neck, causing blood to spread all on the outside of the car's windshield. I could hear sirens from a distance now. Oddly enough, I stared at Bob's car... I just couldn't take in what had just happened. He was dead, obviously, but I had never even fathomed that this was possible - that this could happen.
But hey, life has surprises, so you better buckle down and be hanging on tight because you don't know where this ride is going.
Dave and Morgan (my father) were talking now. The couple walked over to the group, and started to talk. A police cruiser came, along with a tow-truck, firetruck, and an ambulance. The cop pulled over to the side of the road that Bob's car was on and kept his lights on to alert oncoming traffic. The ambulance and firetruck drove into the ditch (it wasn't that steep) and turned off their lights. Paramedics jumped out of the ambulance with a stretcher, ready to go. They brought the stretcher over to the car, but quickly ran back to the firetruck.
The firemen were just getting out as the paramedics caught them. As I watched in complete curiosity and fascination, the firemen brought out what I assumed to be the jaws of life. The paramedics and firemen were now working at a slow pace - maybe they knew that Bob was dead? The firemen ripped off the door and windshield from the main frame of the car, and the paramedics dislodged Bob's head from the windshield. They placed him on the stretcher and immediately covered him with a black bag as he was placed into the ambulance.
Two big guys got out of the tow-truck and picked up Bob's car, still bloodied. They were white gloves, given to them by the paramedics, as they hooked the car up to the truck. The police cruiser left, and the tow-truck followed.
The ambulance, with Bob inside, sat still for awhile. Morgan went over and told the paramedics of Dave's leg. One doctor came out of the vehicle with a large case and went over to Dave. There were only minor injuries, so the paramedic simply taped Dave's leg and placed some ice on his left thigh - the leg closest to the door and steering wheel.
Lastly, the paramedics left with the body of Bob inside, following the firetruck. The bumper in the grass had been collected by the tow-truck. Dave went back into his car and drove off. The couple went back into their truck and drove away. My dad came back into our truck and told me to not worry about what happened.
As we left, I glimpsed at the roadway and the hill: everything seemed in place and at peace. The sky was clear and blue, the air was cool and breezy, and the sun was bright.
It was a beautiful day.
What a POWERFUL outside-narration of a tragic moment, Mike! You offer vivid details, build up dramatic suspense, and make the reader feel like they are witnessing the crash themselves. I especially like the ironic/ juxtaposed final image: a clear, crisp blue sky, a "beautiful day" that seems oblivious to mankind's clumsy ways.
ReplyDeleteWow. That was so powerful. That sounds somewhat horrific as well. I really liked how, at the end, you came back to the theme at the beginning. You have the reader captivated in these vivid descriptions and you forget how calm the day began. It's a very good tool that you used and I really like it. I also liked the analogy with "buckling down" with the whole double meaning and all.
ReplyDeleteThere was one sentence that i didn't quite understand (the one with the white gloves) but I really enjoyed reading this. It was very captivating and once I began to read, I didn't want to stop.
Well, the atomosphere is really nice in the ffirst paragraph, when you are stating the whole story, it sounds like I was there with you, good job TY TY!
ReplyDeleteWOW... That was really well written. I felt like i was in your position watching the crash as it happened. I have witnessed car crashes, but NONE like this. It must have been really scary seeing a dead man. I'm sure your mind is scarred by this.
ReplyDeleteYou really captured my attention by your great description and amazing story. Your grammar was really good and I found no spelling errors!
Oh my goodness. This almost made me cry. It seems like everything happened so fast.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote it so well and it's so vivid. The humor at the beginning made me laugh until you started talking about the really bad stuff. But I like the way you changed moods so well.
You should be a writer, I didn't find anything at all wrong with your story. :)
P.S. I just realized you did the thing where you say the same thing at the end of your story as the beginning. (the blue skies and stuff) You're so smart.
ReplyDeleteI have had expericences like that, it all happens so quickly that you have no idea what to do unless you are thinking quick and correct. I have personal expercinces with these kinds of things.
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